Am I a Leader?

My last blog (I Am a Union Member) was background for this one, in case you're interested...

This past week, I was at a training to educate our union members about organizing people for activism (protesting being the highest level). They split us into groups. I figured that there'd be problems getting a group of chapter leaders to work together, so I tried to stand back at first and let the others do their pissing contest.  I don't need or want to "prove" that I'm a leader.  In fact, my leadership is building consensus around ideas (either my ideas, or others).  I try to be fair, and listen to everyone's ideas. 

I could tell from our first meeting that I had a (sarcasm font) on my team. We briefly argued about whether the red font on a flyer is the key component to mobilizing members. Seriously, the font color? It was ridiculous, but he seemed to really believe that that was what got his members active. From that, and introductions, I knew that he was the type of "leader" who has his own ideas and just wants to push them through. During the introductions (and throughout the week), he said that he wanted to learn how to get a core group to advise him. I interpreted that as he wanted a small group of cronies who would back whatever he wants so that he can be more of a fascist than a collaborative leader. That kind of leadership shouldn't fit with our union because we focus on the democratic process.
He bugged me later, too, by utilizing the assignment on building relationships to talk all about himself, what he wanted, and how important listening to others is. Yep, listening.  Ironic much? While I was away from my group, they also decided to add a Native American element to our project. He wasn't able to name his tribe when asked by a facilitator, but he wore war paint, paper headware, and wanted the group to drum that stereotypic (and inaccurate) "Indian" drum beat. Needless to say, I was not a fan of Magic Font.

Surprisingly, he wasn't my big problem. Another member got irritated by another group member (from a CC, let's call her Libby since she's a library technician) and I "bickering." In my opinion, we weren't bickering, but having a discussion about the best way to do each task. I didn't not want to be in a group in which one or two members decided on everything; even if one of those members was me. Remember my leadership style?  I asked the other member (she's from 29 Palms, so let's call her Palmer) what we should do instead. She didn't answer. May be I should've paid more attention to that outburst, but I just figured that she was tired and hungry, and that she'd feel better the next day.

But the next day, when the group (minus Libby) was discussing another aspect of the project, she complained and I asked her opinion on the issues, and she stormed out. Libby and Palmer had a long talk with a facilitator when picking up some materials, awhile me and some other members continued working on the project.  Other members also fretted about the storming and didn't get anything done. I decided to just give Palmer time to cool off.

However, when Libby and Palmer came back, I guess Magic Font joined them and a couple of facilitators and continued their bitch session. In the end, a facilitator pulled me out to talk to me personally. She said that Palmer didn't like having a discussion or using consensus to make decisions. The facilitator basically told me to keep quiet and stay out of the others' way.  That's the kind of "leader" that this group needed?
During this "talking to," I decided that I'd just let them have their say, I'd agree, and get back to work. But I got angry. Palmer was now forcing the group to make decisions in the way that she wanted. I wasn't allowed to foster discussion (or, really, give my opinion), but I couldn't order these other "leaders" around, either. They silenced me.

As many of you know, this is quite a task.  But I refused to be the person who starts drama.  It had started, so I just let them have their way.  In some ways, this drama didn't affect what I learned from the training.  But, really, I'm taking away a lot.  Perhaps a lot of unnecessary baggage, even. 

Back to the story.  Like I said, I chose to keep quiet.  I disengaged from the group.  I did the bare minimum of what I needed to do, so that they couldn't get bad at me for not following through.  I also tried really hard not to be passive aggressive. But, truly, I was just waiting for someone to ask me, "What do you think?" because I was desperate to say, "I was told not to 'bicker'  or offer my opinion."  But no one every asked.  Shocking. 
For an hour or so, I talked to a friend outside.  I tried not to cry.  Then, in our group room, I checked my email for another hour or so. I let them do their thing and make decisions. I followed what they said for our presentation. Except the drum beats; I couldn't do that. I was offended on behalf of American Indians and everyone against cultural appropriation, to drum like that.

It was a horrible, and tainted my whole week of training. The facilitators talked about how the groups bond and stay in touch. That will NOT be happening with my group. Palmer hasn't talked to me for days, and we rode in the same car. Libby has said less than five sentences. I've never experienced anything like this.  For my part, I basically avoided them all, as much as I could, for the rest of the training.

Part of me wants to blame Palmer (and the others) for not being mature or able to work with others. But part of me is trying to figure if there is something about me and my leadership style that is off-putting. I mean, it wasn't just Palmer. Libby and Magic Font were on her side, and were working with each other.
My friend Keith helped me realize that my consensus-building might've been foreign to the K-12 members, especially since the union is all about voting rather than consensus. The situation, and the response of the facilitator and my group members really shook me up, though. It's shaken my view of myself as a competent leader, especially since the group seemed to function better when I dis-engaged.
But then I go back to the first part of me, the part that has to ask what kind of leader any of them
are if they can't communicate with me to work on compromising between our different decision-making processes.

It's sad, really. It's not making me question my involvement in unions, or even this union, but I definitely will not be volunteering to work with any K-12 employees in the near future. I'll work with my chapter, I'll stay on the state-wide association's CC committee, but I'll try to avoid K-12 members. At least for awhile.
Also, I already set up a lunch with my chapter president. I want to hear his perspective on my leadership ability and how well I get along with people. He's seen four years of my activity in the chapter and on campus, and he has decades of experience in the union so he knows how the K-12 members think.


What are your thoughts? Many of you have known me for a very long time. What are your perspectives?

I am a union member.

I'm a member of a union, and am very active in it.  I have held three different chapter officer positions (currently, First Vice President), have gone to several trainings, business conferences, and am now a job steward (sorta like a guardian ad litem for union members).  Through the union, I've also been appointed on several college committees, district committees, and even a county committee.  At the state-wide association, I'm on the community college committee. 

I often have trouble at events with union members who are outside of my chapter. Part of the reason for my trouble is that my union is primarily made up of K-12 schools. As a community college representative, we have many differences. We're not fighting for "kids." Our employees are more educated. We don't deal with the parents of our students (well, as much as we can avoid it!).
Another reason that I have trouble is that my union is for classified school employees. Classified employees are everyone who is not a teacher/faculty member or an administrator (manager/VP/president/superintendent/chancellor). This means that my union is made up of truly blue collar workers: custodians, secretaries, food service workers, recess aids, bus drivers, plumbers & electricians, grounds keepers. And IT and researchers. Who doesn't belong in that group? Who isn't quite blue collar?  My education sets me apart from many (although I try to never bring it up), but at least other community college (CC) employees have similar work experiences as me. Our work environment is very different from that of K-12 classified workers.

I mention all of this as a prelude to my next blog, but also just to emphasize that not all union members are the same.  We all want protection for workers and middle-class wages, but our backgrounds and work experiences can be vastly different.  Even when we're in the same union.  Heck, even when we're in the same school!  My chapter's Executive Board (EBoard) is made up of a welder (President), research analyst (First Vice President), financial  aid technician (Second  Vice President), event coordinator (Treasurer).  We have a couple vacant officer positions, but those were last held by a math tutor (chapter Public Relations Officer) and an administrative assistant (Secretary).  Clearly, our EBoard officers have different work experiences, but in our case it brings different strengths and different connections to the union.