Christian Friends

I wrote the email below to a Christian friend who is facing some personal struggles right now.  I thought that it might clarify for others a little of where I stand.  As I finished in the email, there's WAY more to say, but the email wasn't for debates or explanations, it was just to say, "I'm here for you." 

I was thinking about some of your struggles, and realized that trying to mix me in with your religious life might be one of them.  So, I'm writing to explicitly say that I'm open and supportive of whatever you want to share about your faith and how it's helping you through your treatment.  You might not know much about Unitarian Universalism (http://www.uua.org/beliefs), my faith community, but it's all about people finding their own spiritual path, so a basic foundation is openness and welcoming others and their beliefs.  Although we're mostly humanists, there are Christian UUs (and Jewish, Buddhist, pagan, and atheist UUs; probably Muslim, too, but I've never met a UU Muslim...). 

I can imagine that my uber-progressive activism and opinions might make it seem like I can't or won't see the benefits of Christianity (or conservatism, for that matter), but I know that there are different kinds of congregations and different types of Christians.  And I want you to know that my social or political beliefs aren't relevant in your recovery journey; I want to support your beliefs and how your faith helps you.

But really, my point is that you don't have to silence yourself about your faith, especially how it is helping you or how you are trying to leverage it to help you now.  I'm completely supportive of any belief or community that helps you. 

There's so much more to say, but that's the basics, I think.  I might've been able to say things better, but I hope that the feelings come across.

Doctor Strange

I had been avoiding this movie because of the whitewashing of the Asian characters, and because I just didn't see how magic would work in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but as I'm catching up on S4 of Agents of SHIELD, I'm seeing a more super-natural bent (Ghostrider, mostly). 
As I began watching it, I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh, another white asshole that must learn empathy or compassion or sacrifice or something to truly become powerful.  Great.  It's not like I haven't seen this a couple of times already (Tony Stark, Thor, etc.)." 
I did like that there was some racial diversity, although not enough Asians for a movie set mostly in Hong Kong.  It was a little awkward, though, that Chiwetel Ejiofor's character was very, very similar to his character in Serenity. 
It totally didn't pass the Bechdel Test, of course.  At least the love interest had skills! 

Basically, if this wasn't a Marvel movie, I wouldn't have watched it.  I'm totally not a Cumberbatch fan, either.  I mean, I was mostly "meh" until Star Trek: Into Darkness.  Then I HATED him. 

Survivor

They've been coming for African Americans and American Indians since conquering this land and did you speak up - because you weren't Black or Native?
They then came for the Muslims and did you speak up- because you weren't Muslim?
They then came for the sexual minorities and did you speak up- because you weren't gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender?
They then came for women and did you speak up- because you were a man, or a woman with  another privileged status (White, middle or upper class)?
Then they will come for you- and by that time no one will be left to speak up.

Since I didn't buy a house, I'm going to Rome.

About 8 or 9 months ago, there was a house in the neighborhood that I rent from near my job that was going to auction.  I decided, "What the hell?  Why not start the process to bid on it?"  So I did.  I signed up with a mortgage company, got an agent, and started the process.
Well, it didn't go well.  The house never went on auction.  It was in the process with another buyer.  I got to look inside, and it was beautiful and big and had a pool and jacuzzi.  Although the pool was all fool of scum so I couldn't really tell if the pump worked or anything.  Then the bank dropped the other potential buy, but asked for $50k or more than what my agent thought that it was worth.  So I made a low offer, was declined, and let it go. 
Then, about 4 months ago my agent called me out of the blue and said that the house had been appraised for about what we offered for it.  I said "Cool, let's offer what it was appraised for!"  And we did.  And it was accepted!  Great!  Scary!!  Gary inspected it (with no water or power on), and found a couple problems, but said it was mostly good.  We still didn't know if the pool worked.

I had planned to visit a friend in New York city this spring, but put it off because I needed all of my savings for a down payment!

After deciding that my budget could just barely manage the payments, a lot of thought, and a pro-con list, I decided not to buy the house.  I loved it, but it wasn't the right time for Gary and I.  If I had bought the house, I couldn't pay rent where we live now, and he'd basically be homeless.  Not a good situation.

But from then on, I was pretty free with my money.  I kept saying, "Since I didn't buy a house, I can afford this!"  I bought $100 boots and $100 pants just because I liked them.  I bought plane tickets for 5 people and didn't have them pay me back.  I bought expensive cheese, went to the movies, paid for all of our dinners out.  

It was a great few months!  Then, my niece's best friend for 16 years (starting when they were toddlers) said that she was going to nanny in Rome for a month this summer.  This sounds like a great excuse to go to Rome with one of my favorite people!  I checked package costs, and ended up buying a package from Orbitz for 7 days in Rome this July!

The only downside is that I can't say, "Since I didn't buy a house, I can afford this!" because now my extra savings is taking my niece and I to Rome!

If I do end up buying a house in the next couple of years, I hope my nephews are okay with a slightly less epic trip...  May be stay with family in Finland?  Hawaii?  Latin America?  But I have a few years to save for those trips, and a house.

I worked hard for my degree and avoided having children, which is what allows me to have some money now.  But I know that my family's support through most of my education and being White also has helped me get as far as I have.
How far is that?  Rome with the one who made me an aunt!