Auntie Day 2013

My sister got behind on copying pictures for the family, so that's my excuse for this being over a year late.
For the 2013, the theme for Auntie Day was science fiction in general.  We went to a science fiction book store,

and I got to choose about 5 books that I wanted!!
We also did science fiction charades:

We weren't going to have a themed-restaurant, then found one!!!  So fun!

Fish sticks and custard!

Can you tell who my favorite doctor is?  ;)

Another great Auntie Day!

Maxx

My boyfriend's older dog, Maxx, is dieing of cancer.  Right now.



When I first heard the news, I was so concerned for my boyfriend, Gary.  He's had this dog with him for almost two decades.  Maxx is more than a friend, he's like family.  Maxx was the first picture that I received in a text from Gary.

But then I started thinking about me.  I had plans with Maxx!  I couldn't wait to live with him, and be able to cuddle with him all of the time.  He's somewhat unsociable, especially for a retriever, but it didn't take too long until he liked me.  I liked him on sight, of course.  And he smells so... dog.
I had plans to take him on walks and hikes.  I had plans to buy a giant doggie bed so that I could cuddle with him after my boyfriend went to work.

And I'm not going to be able to do any of those plans.



I also realized that Maxx is a part of Gary.  One of the many parts that I love.  Losing Maxx is a little bit like losing a part of Gary.

As I continue to process losing Maxx, I realized that Gary's daughters are also losing a part of their childhood.  He's always been a constant presence for them.

I visited them all this weekend.  It was heartbreaking to watch Maxx lose strength, lose his appetite, lose joy.  I cried a lot.  For a silly dog and his loving owner, who both have stolen my heart.
It was nearly impossible to leave, to drive back to the city that I live in, knowing that this is probably the last time that I'll see Maxx.
He won't be panting at the door, excited that I'm visiting again. He won't be waiting near the table for scraps after we eat.  He won't be putting his butt in my face for scratches or slobbering on my lap.  Maxx is a giant presence in that house, and in Gary's life, and we're going to feel his loss deeply.  We can be grateful that he's had a wonderful life, full of love and walks and treats.  Still.  My heart hurts.

Friday, by Heinlein

My comments while reading this:
"I could do without the extended rape scene, then having no emotional toll to it or to the torture."
"Lots of family drama and polyamory , but where are the thrilling heroics?"

Those are good summations of my views. This seems like a character written by a man about how he imagines an ideal woman to be. All about sex, no real emotional connections (or, none that last).

Additionally, the plot really doesn't go anywhere. There's global assassinations, but they're used merely as a plot device. They aren't actually the plot. The plot is just following this woman around while she has sex with lots and lots of people. In the end, even with her rapist! COME ON. I'm getting angry just remembering. 

I've liked other Heinlein, but now I have to re-think those characters. May be the women were as emotionally shallow and sex-crazed as this one. Although I do remember a plot in some of his books, so...

"Lost Girl" Review

This show was suggested to me by one of my friends.  I wanted to like.  I was unsuccessful.

The first thing that I noticed was that the acting/writing/directing was sorta...  low grade.  It's sorta like a TBS show.

I could probably get over that, but I can't really get over the main character.

See, she's a succubus.  That means that her superpower is literally lust.  She controls people by making them horny but satisfied.  She even kills people by draining their life through kissing them.  It's ridiculous.

I just can't get in to a show in which the woman is powerful because of her sexuality.  And it's sad, because I think that the acting could get better, and the character's fighting and interactions are good.  The sidekick is pretty amusing, too.  They present a relatively open view of same-gender sexuality, as well.

I can see how studios and marketers would think this would be sexy and titillating.  It's just too sensationalist for me.

Uterectomy

I dislike the term "hysterectomy" because it reminds me of the little that I know of Victorian Era medicine and psychology, in which women were believed to easily become hysterical, a psychological disorder at the time.  I bet we have Freud to thank for that, huh?
Anyway, I'm gonna call it a uterectomy, because it's a surgery to take out the uterus.  Like an appendectomy.
And I'm writing about it because I'm gonna have one.  Soon.  Here's the long story.

Last fall, I started getting my period again after not having it for a couple years.  I hadn't had it because of my Mirena IUD; I love that thing.  Since I thought that my IUD's 5-year expiration period was up, I made an appointment with the doctor who originally insert it so that she could replace it.  Even though her office is 3 hours from where I live now.
When I got there, the doctor said that my IUD still had a year until the expiration date; somehow I did the math wrong.  Don't judge.  She was concerned, though, about the periods returning.  She did an exam and couldn't find the IUD string.  I wasn't too concerned because I had never been able to feel it, but, still, I wanted to make sure that it was still there!  So she ordered an ultrasound.
I did that where I live, then went to a local OB/GYN to interpret it for me.  She said (and was later confirmed by my non-local OB/GYN) that the IUD was definitely still there, but that I had fibroids.  Apparently, fibroids are balls of muscle that grow from your uterus.  In my mind, that basically means that my uterus is like the Incredible Hulk.  Someone made it mad and, pow! Fibroids.
My uterus us a superhero.  Superheroine?
Both doctors said that it might be difficult to retrieve the IUD with the fibroids, and, if it could be easily removed, that it might be difficult to replace.  Because I'm a planner, I decided to try to do the retrieve-and-replace in the summer, so that if anything complicated happened, I could recover before school starts again.  My appointment, at the 3-hour-away doctor was at the end of last month.  Through a comedy of errors on their part, they did not have an IUD when I arrived for my appointment.  However, after looking at my chart, the doctor wanted another ultrasound to see how the fibroids (superhero uterus muscles) were doing.  Because I'm teaching online this summer and my boyfriend lives fairly close to that doctor, I stayed another day, had the ultrasound, and met with the doctor to discuss it.  She basically said that the fibroids (buff uterus) were bigger, and that she suggested that I take out the uterus.  We both thought keeping my ovaries was a good idea.  No one wants me in menopause right now!!
I decided to bring my ultrasound results to my local OB/GYN to start the surgery process locally.  Because of school, I wanted this done as soon as possible.  I talked with my neighbor, who had a full hysterectomy (taking the ovaries, too), and she said that the major recovery could take up to three weeks, so that was my basis for how long I had to do this before the first day of fall semester.
At the local doctor, I was immediately off-put because their was a Christian bible in the waiting room.  This makes me very nervous when discussing reproductive care.  One past gynecologist of mine said that she'd take care of my IUD, but wouldn't replace it because of her religious beliefs.  Ug.  I never went back to her!  My fears were not unfounded in this case; during my consultation, the doctor kept trying to push me to wait on the surgery in case I decided to have kids.  Um, no thanks.  I'm not sure why my saying that I don't want any kids, and that I had an IUD for my prime breeding years, didn't make her see that I'm really not interested.  She actually said, "The issue is that you haven't had any kids."  I think that I laughed out loud at that, and said something like, "That's not an issue!  That's a blessing!"
In the end, though, she agreed with the 3-hour-away doctor that my uterus would have to come out someday.  She wasn't excited about this summer, but I wasn't excited about waiting.  My IUD expires at the end of the year, so something must be done.
After that experience, I decide that I want the surgery with the 3-hour-away doctor.  Despite the hassles of travel, I liked her and trusted her more.

But then I got to thinking.  I knew that I'd want my mother around after the surgery to help take care of me, so I wondered if I could get the surgery in Washington and stay with her.  I called my insurance, and they said that it was fine, as long as I chose an in-network doctor.  Groovy.
I talked with my mom, and the clinic that she used to work at was on my covered list!  So, when I was up for my youngest nephew's 11th birthday, I made a consultation appointment.  The doctor there was young, and a man, but he wasn't trying to force me to have kids.  He also seemed very knowledgeable, and seemed to understand my issue with the timing.  In fact, he encouraged me to take it out this summer because it might be a more difficult surgery the longer that I wait.

That's where we're at as of today!  We're waiting for confirmation by my insurance to finalize booking the operating room and the doctor's time for next week.  Crazy, huh?
I haven't really felt a need for a uterus for years now, so I'm pretty happy that the medical establishment, or at least three different doctors, agree.  And are willing to take it out!

I am a bit scared of the surgery.  I've never had surgery!  I've never spent the night in the hospital!  Well, as a kid, I slept a night in the waiting room while my sister was fighting her asthma to breathe, but that's not the same.

And as all of this has been unfolding, the Hobby Lobby judgement was released.  Although my uterectomy is due to fibroids (enhanced soldier uterus), I wonder if companies that deny IUDs and other contraceptives that prevent fertilization (but generally don't abort fertilized eggs), and won't let women choose voluntarily sterilizations (but do pay for men to sterilize themselves), would deny my surgery.  As yet, I'm not in danger.  The muscle balls aren't currently life-threatening.  They aren't really bothering me at all, other than interfering with my love affair with my IUD.  It makes me sad that other women in a similar situation won't get the excellent insurance coverage that I have due to religious, patriarchal, and misogynistic beliefs of the owners of the company that they work for.  It's like these 1% families believe that they own their workers, not just their company.

In sum, I have awesome insurance, a good doctor near my mother, and a super uterus.

40th Birthday- Preliminary Ideas

I'd like to travel for my 40th birthday, which is in about a year and a half.  Here are some ideas:

• Visit distant relatives in Finland
• Visit friends in Hawaii
• Cheese tour of France (http://parisbymouth.com/paris-food-tasting-tours/tour-de-fromage-exploring-the-exceptional-cheeses-of-france/)
• Coffee tour of the world (http://www.theroasterie.com/blog/around-the-coffee-globe-the-5-best-coffee-tourism-spots/)
• Geeky destinations (http://www.g33kwatch.com/editorials/geek-advice/geek-advice-a-comprehensive-guide-to-geek-vacations/ or http://www.baselinemag.com/c/a/Features/Eight-Great-Geek-Vacations-538030/1/ or http://www.cracked.com/article_19828_5-geek-fantasies-you-wont-believe-you-can-buy.html)

Any other ideas?

Man, those geeky ones are pretty cool!!

What interested you in wanting to become a professor in psychology?

For my online class this summer, I asked the students to tell me what was most important in the syllabus, or to ask me a question.
One student wrote:  "Dr. Oja, What interested you in wanting to become a professor in psychology?"

And I said:
"Let me count the ways!

• I love psychology.
• I love helping people.
• I wanted to work with disadvantaged youth.
• I love talking.
• I don't like getting up in the mornings.
• I like that every class, every semester, is different.  Although every semester is similar, there's always a new challenge.  You can never know exactly the best way to teach."

Public Information Request

Although I like that so much information is available to the public, is sorta sucks when it's your information!

Memo from my Human Resources Office:

The District has been asked to provide information to 2 different media institutions under the California Public Records Act (Government Code, Section 6260, et. seq.).  The law requires the District to comply with these requests for data to be available to the public.  It further requires the District to disclose to its employees that requests were made, what the nature of these requests were and that it has complied.

The specific institutions and information requested are as follows:

1) The Bay Area News Group.  Salary and benefit data for each individual permanent full- and part-time employee for 2013.  The gathering of the requested information was completed and provided to The Bay Area News Group on or before Wednesday April 2, 2014.

2) TransparentCalifornia.com.  Salary and benefit data for each individual permanent full and part-time employee for 2012 and 2013.  The gathering of this information is still in process and will be provided to TransparentCalifornia.com on or before Wednesday April 2, 2014.

Both of these companies have requested to include the employee name with each specific corresponding salary and benefit information.

Cold or Allergies?

Every time my nose get stuffed up, I start to wonder if I have a cold or if my allergies have gotten worse.
This time, I was thinking it was allergies because I stopped several of my medications over the holiday break because I wasn't in the city with the worst particulate pollution in the country for a few weeks.
But now I'm back, but I haven't gone full throttle on the medications.  I wanted to see how I would do.  Turns out, not that well.  I also thought that it was allergies because my nose got more stuffed when I put my face in my cat's belly.  But her belly is so soft and cute!!!!
On the way to the gym, though, I started coughing.  That's a cold symptom, not allergies, so the case is solved.  I realized, too, that I hadn't had my Vitamin C and zinc smoothie in a few weeks, so of course I got a cold!  Tomorrow, I'll get my smoothie.  For tonight, it's herbal tea time!