Security Threats

I fly a lot. 

I tend to fly somewhere at least once a month, but often more. 

I am an expert traveller.

But this past flight, I experienced two security threats that I've never experienced before.

First, as I was walking to the security line, I saw a guy in khaki pants and a blue button-down shirt taking pictures of an ATM machine, and the newspaper dispensers next to it.  He picked up a container of cleaners and turned around, but did not leave.  I thought that this was very suspicious.  So I told the TSA/ICE worker who stands at the exiting end of security (the side where the travellers exit to get their bags).  He looked out the door, then said, "Well, he's got cleaning supplies so he's probably from the bank." 

Um, have you ever watched a movie about spies?  Espionage?  Any of the Ocean's 11 series?  A *classic* disguise is to look like a worker!  No one pays attention to blue collar workers! 

Sigh.  I did what I could do, so I got in line.

But the line was long.  Incredibly long.  In this small airport that I often fly out of, it was inordinately long.  As I stood in line, it got closer and closer to boarding time.  Then it was boarding time, but I was about four or five people from the TSA agent who checks your ID and ticket.  I was so close! 

I finally was putting all my stuff through the machine, and having no problems.  Fifteen minutes until the plane takes off!  I grab everything and wait for my shoes to come out.  As I see them sliding closer, I hear a TSA agent yell, "Omega Alpha!"  Then all of the agents repeat it; "Omega Alpha!"  And the agent by the x-ray machine asks us to step away from it.  I have 15 minutes!  I can see my shoes!  Other agents have locked down the security area, so I just have to wait.  After a few minutes, an agent yells, "All clear!"  All of the other agents repeat "All clear!"  The agent near my gets my shoes out of tunnel, and I walk directly to the gate.  I put my shoes on there, watching as everyone is boarding my plane. 

I'm in the back of the line, but I made it!

In all of my years of flying, I've never seen these two incidents.  It was strange.  But my flight was fine, and I got to my destination safely.  So I guess that's all that really matters.

Not Too Tired

I am EXHAUSTED today. After a 14 hour work day, then reading The Hunger Games for another couple hours, I was NOT ready to wake up this morning. The whole day has been a struggle sit up, keep my eyes open, and converse like a normal person. And doing work? Hardly. I've tried. I've actually, really tried. But it's been an uphill battle.

I imagine that today's workout will similarly be a struggle. But I should recognize that I'm not considering not going. Oh, how nice it would be to go home and go to bed after work! Instead of honestly considering that option, I'm just preparing myself for a trying jog, and hoping that I'll start feeling better when I start moving.

My normal mindset is to go to the gym, so it takes a lot to get me to skip it. In fact, I turned down dinner with a friend so that I could get to the gym at least twice this week. I wanted to recognize my dedication in this blog, though, rather than letting it go by like I usually do.

Am I a Leader?

My last blog (I Am a Union Member) was background for this one, in case you're interested...

This past week, I was at a training to educate our union members about organizing people for activism (protesting being the highest level). They split us into groups. I figured that there'd be problems getting a group of chapter leaders to work together, so I tried to stand back at first and let the others do their pissing contest.  I don't need or want to "prove" that I'm a leader.  In fact, my leadership is building consensus around ideas (either my ideas, or others).  I try to be fair, and listen to everyone's ideas. 

I could tell from our first meeting that I had a (sarcasm font) on my team. We briefly argued about whether the red font on a flyer is the key component to mobilizing members. Seriously, the font color? It was ridiculous, but he seemed to really believe that that was what got his members active. From that, and introductions, I knew that he was the type of "leader" who has his own ideas and just wants to push them through. During the introductions (and throughout the week), he said that he wanted to learn how to get a core group to advise him. I interpreted that as he wanted a small group of cronies who would back whatever he wants so that he can be more of a fascist than a collaborative leader. That kind of leadership shouldn't fit with our union because we focus on the democratic process.
He bugged me later, too, by utilizing the assignment on building relationships to talk all about himself, what he wanted, and how important listening to others is. Yep, listening.  Ironic much? While I was away from my group, they also decided to add a Native American element to our project. He wasn't able to name his tribe when asked by a facilitator, but he wore war paint, paper headware, and wanted the group to drum that stereotypic (and inaccurate) "Indian" drum beat. Needless to say, I was not a fan of Magic Font.

Surprisingly, he wasn't my big problem. Another member got irritated by another group member (from a CC, let's call her Libby since she's a library technician) and I "bickering." In my opinion, we weren't bickering, but having a discussion about the best way to do each task. I didn't not want to be in a group in which one or two members decided on everything; even if one of those members was me. Remember my leadership style?  I asked the other member (she's from 29 Palms, so let's call her Palmer) what we should do instead. She didn't answer. May be I should've paid more attention to that outburst, but I just figured that she was tired and hungry, and that she'd feel better the next day.

But the next day, when the group (minus Libby) was discussing another aspect of the project, she complained and I asked her opinion on the issues, and she stormed out. Libby and Palmer had a long talk with a facilitator when picking up some materials, awhile me and some other members continued working on the project.  Other members also fretted about the storming and didn't get anything done. I decided to just give Palmer time to cool off.

However, when Libby and Palmer came back, I guess Magic Font joined them and a couple of facilitators and continued their bitch session. In the end, a facilitator pulled me out to talk to me personally. She said that Palmer didn't like having a discussion or using consensus to make decisions. The facilitator basically told me to keep quiet and stay out of the others' way.  That's the kind of "leader" that this group needed?
During this "talking to," I decided that I'd just let them have their say, I'd agree, and get back to work. But I got angry. Palmer was now forcing the group to make decisions in the way that she wanted. I wasn't allowed to foster discussion (or, really, give my opinion), but I couldn't order these other "leaders" around, either. They silenced me.

As many of you know, this is quite a task.  But I refused to be the person who starts drama.  It had started, so I just let them have their way.  In some ways, this drama didn't affect what I learned from the training.  But, really, I'm taking away a lot.  Perhaps a lot of unnecessary baggage, even. 

Back to the story.  Like I said, I chose to keep quiet.  I disengaged from the group.  I did the bare minimum of what I needed to do, so that they couldn't get bad at me for not following through.  I also tried really hard not to be passive aggressive. But, truly, I was just waiting for someone to ask me, "What do you think?" because I was desperate to say, "I was told not to 'bicker'  or offer my opinion."  But no one every asked.  Shocking. 
For an hour or so, I talked to a friend outside.  I tried not to cry.  Then, in our group room, I checked my email for another hour or so. I let them do their thing and make decisions. I followed what they said for our presentation. Except the drum beats; I couldn't do that. I was offended on behalf of American Indians and everyone against cultural appropriation, to drum like that.

It was a horrible, and tainted my whole week of training. The facilitators talked about how the groups bond and stay in touch. That will NOT be happening with my group. Palmer hasn't talked to me for days, and we rode in the same car. Libby has said less than five sentences. I've never experienced anything like this.  For my part, I basically avoided them all, as much as I could, for the rest of the training.

Part of me wants to blame Palmer (and the others) for not being mature or able to work with others. But part of me is trying to figure if there is something about me and my leadership style that is off-putting. I mean, it wasn't just Palmer. Libby and Magic Font were on her side, and were working with each other.
My friend Keith helped me realize that my consensus-building might've been foreign to the K-12 members, especially since the union is all about voting rather than consensus. The situation, and the response of the facilitator and my group members really shook me up, though. It's shaken my view of myself as a competent leader, especially since the group seemed to function better when I dis-engaged.
But then I go back to the first part of me, the part that has to ask what kind of leader any of them
are if they can't communicate with me to work on compromising between our different decision-making processes.

It's sad, really. It's not making me question my involvement in unions, or even this union, but I definitely will not be volunteering to work with any K-12 employees in the near future. I'll work with my chapter, I'll stay on the state-wide association's CC committee, but I'll try to avoid K-12 members. At least for awhile.
Also, I already set up a lunch with my chapter president. I want to hear his perspective on my leadership ability and how well I get along with people. He's seen four years of my activity in the chapter and on campus, and he has decades of experience in the union so he knows how the K-12 members think.


What are your thoughts? Many of you have known me for a very long time. What are your perspectives?

I am a union member.

I'm a member of a union, and am very active in it.  I have held three different chapter officer positions (currently, First Vice President), have gone to several trainings, business conferences, and am now a job steward (sorta like a guardian ad litem for union members).  Through the union, I've also been appointed on several college committees, district committees, and even a county committee.  At the state-wide association, I'm on the community college committee. 

I often have trouble at events with union members who are outside of my chapter. Part of the reason for my trouble is that my union is primarily made up of K-12 schools. As a community college representative, we have many differences. We're not fighting for "kids." Our employees are more educated. We don't deal with the parents of our students (well, as much as we can avoid it!).
Another reason that I have trouble is that my union is for classified school employees. Classified employees are everyone who is not a teacher/faculty member or an administrator (manager/VP/president/superintendent/chancellor). This means that my union is made up of truly blue collar workers: custodians, secretaries, food service workers, recess aids, bus drivers, plumbers & electricians, grounds keepers. And IT and researchers. Who doesn't belong in that group? Who isn't quite blue collar?  My education sets me apart from many (although I try to never bring it up), but at least other community college (CC) employees have similar work experiences as me. Our work environment is very different from that of K-12 classified workers.

I mention all of this as a prelude to my next blog, but also just to emphasize that not all union members are the same.  We all want protection for workers and middle-class wages, but our backgrounds and work experiences can be vastly different.  Even when we're in the same union.  Heck, even when we're in the same school!  My chapter's Executive Board (EBoard) is made up of a welder (President), research analyst (First Vice President), financial  aid technician (Second  Vice President), event coordinator (Treasurer).  We have a couple vacant officer positions, but those were last held by a math tutor (chapter Public Relations Officer) and an administrative assistant (Secretary).  Clearly, our EBoard officers have different work experiences, but in our case it brings different strengths and different connections to the union. 

Outer Dialogue

My boss:  I left a message at the agency in Washington D.C.  It's too late for them to call back now.

My coworker:  Too late?  It's 1:45pm?

My boss:  It's 4:45pm in D.C.  They start wrapping up around 4pm.

Me:  Me, too!  I start wrapping up around 4pm!  

Me:  And since I don't start going until 10 or 11am, that's a small window.

Me:  And I eat lunch during that time.

Silence.
Me:  May be I shouldn't tell my boss these things.

Rally

Last night, I went to a rally to recognize the 39th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.  It was one of the most mellow (and small) rallies that I've ever been to.  NOW provided some signs, and we walked around a traffic circle or stood at one of the intersections.  I talked to many committed NOW members; it seemed like many of them knew each other, so I was the new grrrl.

I explained how the whole personhood nonsense, and other Republican anti-women positions, pushed me to show my support for women's rights and abortion.  It's not like I'm a huge fan of abortion, but I do believe in choice.  I also believe that banning abortion will have two damaging consequences.  The first will be the proliferation of illegal abortions.  In the protection of zygotes, real women will die.  The second damage will be starting on the slippery slope of taking away women's rights.  As a Californian, I already know about losing a right (to marry someone of whatever gender I choose).  It's inconceivable to me that the majority is okay with taking away a minority group's right.  And for religious reasons, nonetheless!  But it's true and it happens, and banning abortion will open the door to taking away more women's rights.  Wikipedia's description of personhood mentions debates about the personhood of African Americans when slavery was being abolished, so it's really not that much of a leap to worry that the personhood of women themselves may be questioned.  If women are unfit to make choices about their own bodies, may be they're unfit to make any decision?  It all moves closer to Margaret Atwood's speculative fiction.  I don't want to be a handmaid (book or movie version)!

Arg.  I get so angry when people try to tell me what to do.

Back to the rally...  While meeting many of the NOW members, and some people from a local rape crisis hotline, I kept hearing about how this is the first year that the anti-protesters haven't been around.  Apparently, they usually come with bullhorns, yelling mean things, and a truck with pictures of bloody, dead babies on it.  I, personally, am glad that they weren't there.  There was one anti-protester, but he just walked quietly in the opposite direction of us with his sign.
But I wonder why more anti-protesters didn't show.  Is it a good sign?  Do they realize that their position is insane?  Or is it a bad sign?  Do they think that they have the votes and power to do whatever they want?  Or, it is neither?  May be the anti-protesters really did take Sunday as a day of rest?  May be it was too dark or cold for them?  May be they forgot it was the anniversary?  Or may be they'd just rather stay home to watch football.  I hear that there was a big game or something on. 

The only aspect of the rally that I didn't really like was the fact that everyone single person there was White.  It was mostly women, but that's to be expected.  The Whiteness of NOW has always bothered me.  It saddens me that NOW is made of White women, fighting for (White) women's rights.  The issues that women of color have are not so clear cut, and require more sophistication and collaboration to deal with.  You can't just say, "We want legal abortions" because of the fear abortions used as a form of genocide by women of color.  We can't fight for equal pay for women when people of color are receiving drastically lower wages.  We can't fight for the end of stereotyping by gender without ending stereotyping by ethnicity.
And the list goes on.

I'm not sure that my presence at the rally helped anything, but I at least got off of my butt and tried to live my values.  What have you done?

Toilet Paper

This blog epitomizes the phrase "pointless anecdote."  Fair warning.

I always go to the same stall in the bathroom at work.  It's the most used stall, which is a bit icky, but I won't go to the handicap stall, and the other one is in the middle of the two.  Isn't it the Bathroom Rule that you try to put an empty stall between you and the next person? 

Anyway, in "my" stall, the toilet paper dispenser has the option of using one of two different rolls.  I prefer the forward roll; somehow, it seems easier to use.  But I try to use the second roll, I think, because I assume that others probably use the forward roll, too.  Why should it matter, though, which roll that others use?

I want to use the less-used roll because, somewhere in my addled mind, it balances things out.  By using that roll, when others are using the other one, I'm doing my part to make the universe more symmetrical.  It sounds crazy, huh?  But wait.
Under that addled mind, or may be deep, deep inside it, is this unconscious belief that the second roll is sad because no one uses it.  I don't want the second roll to be lonely! 

That is why I use the second toilet paper roll, even though I prefer using the first one. 

I think this whole blog says a lot about my personality, don't you?