Return of the Fibroids

Remember when my uterus was so tough and full of muscles that I had to have it ripped out? Turns out, even that was not enough. Some of the fibroids clung on, and have developed into a new muscle baby. This muscle baby seems to be holding on to an ovary, and sometimes makes the ovary do back flips. Let me tell you, that is painful!
The pain started a few months ago, but I thought that I had gas and was a wimp.
The next time it hurt, I went to urgent care. They said that I had a UTI, and gave me antibiotics. 

A few days later, I went to my beloved gyno, and she said that I had an infection from my surgery 9 months ago, and gave me different drugs. Her ultrasound saw something, though, so I got a CT scan. The CT scan also saw something. I had blood tests, and everything points to "probably not cancer."
This past week,  the pain got bad enough that I went to the emergency room.  They gave me drugs and sent me away, saying that a real doctor had to deal with my muscle baby.
Yesterday, I met with this real doctor, and he will take out the muscle baby on May 21st. Unless the pain gets bad enough and I have to go to the ER again. In that case, the ER will call the real doctor and he'll take it out.
I'm in minor pain now, and wondering how I can finish the semester either in pain or on vicoden. Neither options sound good, so hopefully the pain will decrease this week.  I had planned to go to a conference, so most of my classes were already covered; I can stay home and rest this week.

McFarland, U.S.A.

I just watched McFarland last night (trailer).  I left the theater feeling so proud of my students, the same kind of students whom Coach White helped.  It was a great movie to show how engagement with school activities or staff can turn a child's life around.

Then today, I realized that it was another White Savior movie.  :(  The white guy comes in, and changes the lives of all of those poor people of color. 
I also realized that the movie probably failed the Bechdel Test.  There were several women and girl characters, but they mostly were background for Coach White (his family or colleagues).  I guess this is not unexpected for a movie about a (men's) running team. 

Still, I really liked the movie.  I loved the representation of Hispanic culture.  Although the movie definitely exaggerated the friendliness and inclusiveness of small towns or Hispanic families, the "fish out of water" experience of the White family going to a small, Hispanic town in the central valley of California in 1987 was pretty funny. 

I look forward to hearing the responses of Hispanic people, especially migrant workers and their kids.  So much of the movie seems realistic to me, but that's no my background.  I've lived near migrant communities for much of my life, but "near" and "in" is a vast difference. 

Questions for the Professor: Spring 2015 Edition

Every semester, I have students ask me questions on the first day of class. They often start out related to the class, then get to my background, and sometimes to my personality and interests (Star Trek!  Star Wars! Sci-fi!!).  It's fun.  I try to do something similar in my online classes.  Pasted below are some of the questions, and my answers. 

Q:  I read on your syllabus you are fascinated with the study of teaching, when did you become interested in this?
A:  I've thought about teaching since I was in high school, but I got really interested in STUDYING teaching in graduate school at University of Nebraska.  As part of my research assistantship, I observed faculty and classes and realized that teaching is a process that you can always improve on.  I like that teaching is always a challenge that I both succeed and fail at every semester. 

Q:  What do you think is the most important and most useful thing we will learn about psychology?
A:  Wow, that's tough.  Although not everything in the textbook or notes is IMPORTANT, almost all of it is USEFUL.  The thing is, the course is about people.  And each of you are a people.  And each of you will work with people.  And each of you will have friendships or romantic relationships with a people.  So, I think that pretty much everything is useful in some way or another. 
But that doesn't really answer your question.  ;)  So, I think that understanding what the fundamental attribution error is, and then working to not do it, is the most important and useful thing discussed in the class.  I'll save the description for the notes, but the attribution and the fundamental attribution error is in chapter 10 (Social Psychology).

Q:  Do you own any pets? 
A:  Yes, I have one cat:  Piggie Piggie Poopy-Pants Wickersham Oja.  I call her Piggie or Piglet. 

New Year Completion: 2014 to 2015

v  My accomplishments, wins, and breakthroughs this year were:

Ø  Dating Gary.

Ø  Continue as instructor, and keep improving.

v  My unmet expectations, failures, and breakdowns this year were:

Ø  Not losing weight.

Ø  Not living new Gary

v  I learned this year: I could give up teaching full-time and be happy.

v  What am I doing that’s working for me?

Ø  Visiting family.

Ø  Dating Gary

v  What am I tolerating?

Ø  Grading too much.

Ø  Skipping workouts, or not working out hard enough.

v  The breakthrough that I would like to have next year is: living near Gary, & balance grading and the rest of my life.

v  The judgment, philosophy, or belief that I’m willing to let go of to support that breakthrough is that: I can’t accept a cut in pay. 

v  What I can count on myself for is:

Ø  Loving my kids

Ø  Intelligence

Ø  Humor

Ø  Trying

Ø  Trying new things

Into The Woods

I watched the 2014/2015 released movie Into the Woods this past weekend.  I've seen the live version a couple of times, but was really impressed with the singers.  Especially the kids.  And Meryl Streep!!!  I did not know that she could sing like that!  [I hope that it was really her singing, and not dubbed.  I'd feel pretty let down if that were the case...]

But the reason that this movie, out of the many that I watch, gets review is not just the great singing by all of the actors.  It's because the movie was surprisingly sexist for modern standards.  I get that it's supposed to be in medieval times or whatever, but so was Frozen and that movie didn't kill off many of the women characters.  One even died after kissing someone who wasn't her husband in Into the Woods!  Talk about traditional violence against women who like sexuality!  From my memory, only one man died.  And he wasn't a main character.  But two women who were main characters died, and one important-but-not-main character who was a woman also died.

I just don't understand why Hollywood can't see by some of the big money-making movies of the past few years that the public WANTS female characters, and not ones that die easily and quickly.  Especially after kissing someone!

I guess it's good that the story shows after "happily ever after," and how what you wish for may not be what you really want.  That's an important message, especially for so many Disney movies in which the one woman character only wants to marry a man (whom she probably just met, or hasn't met yet!).

Also, everyone was white.  :(

So, I guess this is one of those movies in which there are a lot of strong female characters, but they still are treated more harshly than the male characters.

Auntie Day 2013

My sister got behind on copying pictures for the family, so that's my excuse for this being over a year late.
For the 2013, the theme for Auntie Day was science fiction in general.  We went to a science fiction book store,

and I got to choose about 5 books that I wanted!!
We also did science fiction charades:

We weren't going to have a themed-restaurant, then found one!!!  So fun!

Fish sticks and custard!

Can you tell who my favorite doctor is?  ;)

Another great Auntie Day!

Maxx

My boyfriend's older dog, Maxx, is dieing of cancer.  Right now.



When I first heard the news, I was so concerned for my boyfriend, Gary.  He's had this dog with him for almost two decades.  Maxx is more than a friend, he's like family.  Maxx was the first picture that I received in a text from Gary.

But then I started thinking about me.  I had plans with Maxx!  I couldn't wait to live with him, and be able to cuddle with him all of the time.  He's somewhat unsociable, especially for a retriever, but it didn't take too long until he liked me.  I liked him on sight, of course.  And he smells so... dog.
I had plans to take him on walks and hikes.  I had plans to buy a giant doggie bed so that I could cuddle with him after my boyfriend went to work.

And I'm not going to be able to do any of those plans.



I also realized that Maxx is a part of Gary.  One of the many parts that I love.  Losing Maxx is a little bit like losing a part of Gary.

As I continue to process losing Maxx, I realized that Gary's daughters are also losing a part of their childhood.  He's always been a constant presence for them.

I visited them all this weekend.  It was heartbreaking to watch Maxx lose strength, lose his appetite, lose joy.  I cried a lot.  For a silly dog and his loving owner, who both have stolen my heart.
It was nearly impossible to leave, to drive back to the city that I live in, knowing that this is probably the last time that I'll see Maxx.
He won't be panting at the door, excited that I'm visiting again. He won't be waiting near the table for scraps after we eat.  He won't be putting his butt in my face for scratches or slobbering on my lap.  Maxx is a giant presence in that house, and in Gary's life, and we're going to feel his loss deeply.  We can be grateful that he's had a wonderful life, full of love and walks and treats.  Still.  My heart hurts.