President of the College

The president of the college where I work recently retired.  Although his replacement was already chosen, there were a few days in which the new president had not officially been approved by the Board of Trustees (school board) but the new president was officially retired. 

So I took over.

There I am, in the president's office.  Notice the picture of the kids and my brother-in-law?  My "Coffee is like a sauna in a cup" mug?  My water bottle?  And, of course, I'm noshing on a granola bar.  The paparazzi clearly interrupted my work, too. 

And what was my work?  Well, I was considering what changes and mandates that I should make.  Here are some of my ideas:

• Share professor pass rates amongst the department (to shame, I mean "motivate" bad professors).
• Merge the small programs for at-risk students into a larger, pod-based system.
• Mandate that coffee, with creamer, be served at all meetings.
• Provide training to all employees on their bargaining contract (or the contracts of their underlings).
• Provide training to all faculty on cultural competency.
• Require cheese trays at all social events sponsored by the college.

That's as far as I got.  Then I was kicked out of the office so that the next person could sit in the chair and pretend to be in charge.  Someday, I might really be a college president (if I don't stick with teaching), and we'll see if my Cheese Mandate makes it through those long years of administration.  I think that there's a good chance, don't you?