Rally

Last night, I went to a rally to recognize the 39th anniversary of Roe vs. Wade.  It was one of the most mellow (and small) rallies that I've ever been to.  NOW provided some signs, and we walked around a traffic circle or stood at one of the intersections.  I talked to many committed NOW members; it seemed like many of them knew each other, so I was the new grrrl.

I explained how the whole personhood nonsense, and other Republican anti-women positions, pushed me to show my support for women's rights and abortion.  It's not like I'm a huge fan of abortion, but I do believe in choice.  I also believe that banning abortion will have two damaging consequences.  The first will be the proliferation of illegal abortions.  In the protection of zygotes, real women will die.  The second damage will be starting on the slippery slope of taking away women's rights.  As a Californian, I already know about losing a right (to marry someone of whatever gender I choose).  It's inconceivable to me that the majority is okay with taking away a minority group's right.  And for religious reasons, nonetheless!  But it's true and it happens, and banning abortion will open the door to taking away more women's rights.  Wikipedia's description of personhood mentions debates about the personhood of African Americans when slavery was being abolished, so it's really not that much of a leap to worry that the personhood of women themselves may be questioned.  If women are unfit to make choices about their own bodies, may be they're unfit to make any decision?  It all moves closer to Margaret Atwood's speculative fiction.  I don't want to be a handmaid (book or movie version)!

Arg.  I get so angry when people try to tell me what to do.

Back to the rally...  While meeting many of the NOW members, and some people from a local rape crisis hotline, I kept hearing about how this is the first year that the anti-protesters haven't been around.  Apparently, they usually come with bullhorns, yelling mean things, and a truck with pictures of bloody, dead babies on it.  I, personally, am glad that they weren't there.  There was one anti-protester, but he just walked quietly in the opposite direction of us with his sign.
But I wonder why more anti-protesters didn't show.  Is it a good sign?  Do they realize that their position is insane?  Or is it a bad sign?  Do they think that they have the votes and power to do whatever they want?  Or, it is neither?  May be the anti-protesters really did take Sunday as a day of rest?  May be it was too dark or cold for them?  May be they forgot it was the anniversary?  Or may be they'd just rather stay home to watch football.  I hear that there was a big game or something on. 

The only aspect of the rally that I didn't really like was the fact that everyone single person there was White.  It was mostly women, but that's to be expected.  The Whiteness of NOW has always bothered me.  It saddens me that NOW is made of White women, fighting for (White) women's rights.  The issues that women of color have are not so clear cut, and require more sophistication and collaboration to deal with.  You can't just say, "We want legal abortions" because of the fear abortions used as a form of genocide by women of color.  We can't fight for equal pay for women when people of color are receiving drastically lower wages.  We can't fight for the end of stereotyping by gender without ending stereotyping by ethnicity.
And the list goes on.

I'm not sure that my presence at the rally helped anything, but I at least got off of my butt and tried to live my values.  What have you done?

Toilet Paper

This blog epitomizes the phrase "pointless anecdote."  Fair warning.

I always go to the same stall in the bathroom at work.  It's the most used stall, which is a bit icky, but I won't go to the handicap stall, and the other one is in the middle of the two.  Isn't it the Bathroom Rule that you try to put an empty stall between you and the next person? 

Anyway, in "my" stall, the toilet paper dispenser has the option of using one of two different rolls.  I prefer the forward roll; somehow, it seems easier to use.  But I try to use the second roll, I think, because I assume that others probably use the forward roll, too.  Why should it matter, though, which roll that others use?

I want to use the less-used roll because, somewhere in my addled mind, it balances things out.  By using that roll, when others are using the other one, I'm doing my part to make the universe more symmetrical.  It sounds crazy, huh?  But wait.
Under that addled mind, or may be deep, deep inside it, is this unconscious belief that the second roll is sad because no one uses it.  I don't want the second roll to be lonely! 

That is why I use the second toilet paper roll, even though I prefer using the first one. 

I think this whole blog says a lot about my personality, don't you?

Auntie Day 2011

I asked for breakfast for Auntie Day this year.  So, of course, my sister says we're having breakfast-o-rama (have "ama" echoing several times to get the full effect...)!  Because it's me (and her!), we set it for 11am instead of the actual morning.  It was highly encouraged to wear pajamas, but since my Mom and I stopped at stores on our way, we came dressed, then changed into pajamas.  My Mom wore this embarrassing grandma flannel nightgown; it was awesome.  I wore the one pair of pajamas that I keep at my mother's.  My nephew wore his new pair of skinny jeans.  I let that go because I think that he slept in them.  He loves those jeans!

It smelled so good when I walked in!  My brother-in-law, Joe, made gingerbread pancakes, cinnamon french toast, scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, sausage links, and sausage patties.  There were strawberries, blueberries, and whipped cream for the pancakes, in addition to pure maple syrup.  Plus, they had gingerbread creamer for my fresh coffee!  It was a feast, a true breakfast-o-rama!

Me with a "taco" (gingerbread pancake with a whip cream filling!)

For a gift, my Mom got me the Settlers of Catan game expansion pack (yay!!!), and my sister is framing an anti-racist/peace craft project that my youngest nephew made.  Perfect for my day!

My sister was busy in the evening, so we didn't do Auntie Day activities.  But my brother(-in-law) did ask if we could play Settlers of Catan, which I just happened to have in my car!  So we played two games of Settlers!  That night, we had dinner with my cousin's family (and played Catchphrase).

It was a great day for me, a day full of family.  I am a lucky aunt, that's for sure!

Spiritual Baking

In 2010, I read this article in the Yoga Journal about how someone made bundt cakes every week, then gave them out to those in need of gift.  For the author, it became a spiritual offering.  I knew that I couldn't bake every week, but I decided to try to give away a baked good every month in 2011. 

My first attempt was for the guy that I was sorta dating at the time (Ben).  Since many of my friends are trying to lose weight, I decided that an unhealthy dessert wasn't the best option for me.  So I looked for healthy recipes.  I decided to make fruit and nut bars for Ben.  They would've worked out really well if I had the patience to actually chop everything into small pieces.  Instead, there was this pan of nut and fruit chunks in a sweet glaze.  He said that it was good, at least...

The next month, I found a recipe for an apple oatmeal crumble.  It used wheat flour (instead of white flour), brown sugar (instread of white sugar), oatmeal, apples, and butter (well, the recipe called for margarine.  But, seriously?).  So, mostly healthy.  It could be eaten as a sweet breakfast, or topped with ice cream for something like a cobbler.
I think that first one was to my favorite co-worker (Laura).  She had been overwhelmed with work lately, and I also think that it was about the time that she learned of her sister's cancer. 
I gave my new roommate one when I moved in April.  Unfortunately, she said that she doesn't like apples!


I gave one to each of my two poor, unemployed friends. At this time, I bought disposable tin baking pans, so it was easy to give the dessert away and not have to worry about getting the pan back.
I might've given one to Crazy Tom when I was dating him, but I don't remember.
In September I gave one to another guy that I was dating (Keith) because  he had just returned from two weeks in Spain and had no food in his house.  I could barely stay  there; I needs to eat!
I made one for my mother when I went home, may be in October?
This holiday season, I combined my November and December baking to make one for my cousin-in-law and her kids, and then the other for my aunt.  My best friend from K-12 helped me make these; thanks, Jeanne!


I know that I made 12, but I don't remember each person that I gave one, too.  May be one went to a potluck?  I'm not sure it was quite a spiritual practice or anything for me.  It was nice to give to people, but awkward, too.  People often wondered why I was  baking for them.  It was somewhat of a convoluted explanation to tell them about the Yoga Journal and bundt cakes!
I won't be continuing this into 2012, but it was an interesting experience.  May be some other year, I'll give away food that I actually like to make.  Like all of the soup that I've been making!  I always have so much of that, and it's almost always tastes amazing. 

My office is a minefield.

I haven't eaten the muffins that have been at work for weeks.
This morning, homemade chocolate chip cookies showed up.  I didn't eat any, and only had a minor craving for them.
But then these delicious-looking spice cookies showed up.  With frosting!  I love spiced desserts, especially at this time of the year.  I'm not sure that I can pass them up.  I'm full from lunch right now, but am not sure what I'll do later in the afternoon.  Especially when the tired/bored munchies show up!

My office is a minefield of poor food choices.

Muffin Top

More than once, I've had people mention that my pants seem too big for me.  Occasionally that has been because I've lost weight but haven't updated my wardrobe.

But more likely, it's because I'm avoiding muffin top.  You know, the bulge over your the waistband of your pants?  Man, I hate that look!  So I get pants that rest on the biggest part of my waist, rather than constricting any part of my waist.  This strategy makes pants more comfortable while sitting, and avoids muffin top.  Unfortunately, it also means that the rest of the pants are a bit baggy.

I wish that  someone would make muffin top-free pants.  Somehow make the waistband stretchy, or make the waistband a couple inches large than the rest of the pants. 

Until then, I'll likely continue to wear my pants a size too big.  And keep trying to hit the gym.

Veterans

Like so many other holidays for me, Veterans' Day is emotionally complicated for me.

I would feel great gratitude for our veterans if they were fighting for my freedom, but they are not.  From what I can tell, they are fighting for oil, power, and  imperialism.
On top of the anger for that, they are being hurt.  Physically wounded, emotionally scarred, or killed.  This pains me.  And the fact that I think that they are being so irrevocably damaged for greed makes it all the worse.  They are killing themselves, losing limbs and brain cells (a la traumatic brain injury), and ripping their souls FOR NO GOOD REASON.

I see myself as pro-veteran, but anti-war.  I'm pro-American, but I hate what America has been doing.  It's hard for unthinking "patriots" to understand this. 

So on this day, and all days, I do want the veterans to be supported.  I want the VA to be fully funded.  Veterans should have their physical and emotional needs completely taken care of; they have sacrificed their bodies and minds for this country (for whatever reason), and this country should take care of them upon their return.

But I can't thank them for my freedoms.  The current vets have nothing to do with that.  The veterans of the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, and WWII really did fight for freedom.  Unfortunately, the military and "homeland security" policies of the last 10+ years have made have decimated my privacy, my freedom, and my security.  It's so sad that veterans' sacrifices have been futile, that military personnel have lost their lives, limbs, and souls, and in the end, I'm less free and less secure.

Namaste, veterans.